Greetings, Earthling! Welcome to M.A.R.S., the Mars Attacks Re-invasion Society.
Here's the story behind the M.A.R.S. Fan Club...
- In 1962, the Martians launched a devastating attack on the Earth. Although the Earth was almost completely destroyed by the Martians' superior technology and weapons, the Earthmen fought back to defeat their interplanetary agressors.
- Somewhere, perhaps on the moon bases of Phobos and Demos, the Martians have been amassing another strike force. The alien invaders are once again poised for an all-out attack on our humble planet.
- As evidenced by the recent release of new Mars Attacks cards, comic books, models, and novels, a full-scale blitz is underway. Now, toys, games, and items of all sorts are descending upon us like laserblasts from above.
- And, since FRYDAY December 13th, the Martians have pulled out the heavy artillery ... the Movie! The Re-invasion is now underway in full force. There will be no stopping it. We will all be victims of the Mars Attacks Re-invasion!
We at M.A.R.S. know that it is futile to try to resist. We, therefore, have made it our mission to spread the word of the upcoming re-invasion, and willfully anticipate its' arrival. We welcome the Martians with open arms and hope they are more benevolent to us than they were the first time around!
Join us NOW before it's too late!
Joining the Mars Attacks Re-invasion Society is easy, it doesn't cost a lot, and you get some COOL STUFF which is not available anywhere else in the solar system!
at all the stuff you'll get when you become a member...
- Official membership CERTIFICATE, suitable for framing. (This will make quite a conversation piece hanging on your bomb shelter wall- just watch your friends' eyes light up when you explain its significance!)
- A flashy yet stylishly practical ball-point PEN emblazoned with the M.A.R.S. logo and the WWW address so you'll never forget where to find the club!
- Official WALLET CARD proclaiming your membership. (Carry it around in your wallet or purse and flash it whenever you want to feel important!)
- A shiny pin-on BUTTON that proclaims your allegiance to the fastest-growing society on the web. (Careful, it's sharp!)
(Note: the above pictures of the pen and button are just cheesey clip-art. The
real stuff is WAY more exciting!)
O.K., I'm ready to join! How do I do it?
- 1). Scrounge up $10 (in U.S. funds; check or money order preferred. Please make check payable to: Bernie Mertes). (You know, this is actually quite reasonable- many fan clubs charge $20 to $30 to join!)
- 3). Send your name, address, and $10 to:
Bernie Mertes
2093 Grand Detour Rd.
Dixon, IL 61021
- 4). Sit back and wait for the nice postman to deliver your official membership kit!
DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU! JOIN M.A.R.S. TODAY, BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
Still can't decide whether to join or not? First learn all about Mars Attacks: its history, what's happening now, and will happen in the near future! Then jump back to this page to join!
See the original Mars Attacks cards, complete with storyline from the backs of the cards!
Read the MARS ATTACKS FAQs!